When she's not working, or shopping, or making candles, or crocheting, or painting her nails, or trying to find the perfect shoes to match her outfit, or taking selfies, Hazel blabbers away on a blog...
No One Said It Would Be Easy
When I moved back to New Zealand from Australia for my “dream job” (more on that another day) I was disappointed and frustrated by the lack of women’s clothing options available here, and the prices that we were expected to pay – up to twice as much as our Australian friends!
I wanted to start up an online store, so I approached the distributors of my favourite labels. Some of the suppliers agreed to allow me to stock their products once the website was live, others said that they were restricted by exclusive supply agreements with a certain retailer, and others replied straight away with: “no, sorry”.
I filed the idea in the too hard basket, and focused on my “dream job”, then went on the trip of a lifetime (you can read all about that here), and didn’t really think about it a whole lot more…(read the post here)
Choosing Your ‘tude
I am well aware that all of my “problems” are first world problems, but that doesn’t stop me from sometimes having a wee pity party. This party is usually held about 07:45am on any given week day and has a VIP guest list of one.
My moods are quite weather dependant, I’m somewhat solar powered, so anything more than 72 hours of rain and I’m fighting the urge to call in sick and go back to bed – indefinitely.
Last Wednesday morning I was driving to work, wearing my pity party hat, jacked up on pity party food, and I thought ‘right, between now and the office you have to find three things that make you smile’…(read the post here)
Square Peg in a Round Hole
I’m not sure if I’m a square peg in a round hole, or more a round peg trying to squeeze into a square hole. A square peg in a round hole implies that I don’t have enough peg to fill the space, when in reality I think it’s the opposite – there’s too much peg to try and jam it all in, there’s parts of the peg that don’t really fit into most environments.
I don’t like to take life too seriously. Of course there are times when life is serious. Funerals are pretty serious. Although, at my Pop’s funeral, we were carrying his casket and my cousin got jammed between the church pew and the coffin. He was wedged firmly, and we came to a standstill part way up the aisle. My sister and I were at the front wearing ridiculously high heels (mum surprised us with the pall bearer news in the car on the way to the service), laughing our heads off and trying really hard not to drop Pop on the floor!
Anywho, I digress…(read the post here)
Meanwhile at Hazel’s House
You’ll have to excuse me, today is my 21st day in a row in the office. I’ve been working a bit of overtime at my real job, the one I get paid for. I’ve still got 3 days before I get a break, which is great practise for when I’m eventually self employed and every day will be a work day. What it does mean though, is that there’s not a lot of intellect or wit to script a post, but I’ll give it a nudge.
So last time we spoke about Hazel’s House, I was hurriedly trying to solve the mystery of the missing dresses. After several private calls made from the work phone – a huge no no, but usual behaviour of a square peg in a round hole, I tracked down the parcel. It had been returned to the courier base, where they were trying to find the elusive Hazel.
I rock up, ring the bell, and after 10 minutes they bring out the box…(read the post here)
Crying in the Car
I’m so glad that it’s nearly June because May was a bit of a downer month for me. For most people, if they’re having a bit of a sad time, something like “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet” would make them appreciate the things they do have. For me, I stop being sad for myself, and start being really sad for the guy with no feet. Imagine having no feet? Life would be so hard with no feet!
May is Mother’s Day month and I have several friends who have lost their mums. So while we’re celebrating our amazing mums, they’re reminded all month that they don’t have one to spend the day with…(read the post here)
Things I Wish I Was Better At
There are so many things I wish I was better at. I’m not being all “I’m no good at anything” either, cos there’s things that I am good at, but I would happily forfeit some of my incredible talents if it meant I got to be good at waaaay better stuff.
I wish I could sing. Sometimes, when I’m belting out a power ballad in the Pleasurecraft, I feel sorry for the people in the car beside me at the lights. They’re two panes of glass away, and I bet it’s still offensive. I know this, because I’ve seen a few Chihuahua X Maltese Terriers howling along from the back seat… (read the post here)
“What do you do for fun?”
This question was asked in my last job interview, and is the main reason that I have never attended a speed dating session. What do I do for fun? How am I supposed to answer that?
If you wanted an honest answer it would go something like this: (read the honest answer here)
Dear 20 Year Old Me
You’re 20! How exciting! Finally out of your teens, you’ve been waiting so long for this! 20 sounds, like, sooooo much older than, like, 19! It’s, like, weird aye? Like cool, but, like, weird.
You’ll starve for six weeks to fit into the dress you had made for your 21st. If this gets to you before then, I would recommend you just decrease your food intake and increase your exercise. This will save the meltdown that you will have on the day of your 21st party because you don’t like your cake. The cake is fine. It’s not what you had in mind, but who cares? (read the post here)
Diary of Dry July (and Intermittent Fasting)
Day One: Monday July 1st
Dry July, what a good idea. How many more of these two day hangovers can I cope with? Not many I hear you say. Not when I am trying to work two full time jobs. My liver is jumping for joy inside my abdomen. I’m not a big drinker, but I am a binge drinker. I’m like a 16 year old stuck in a 36 year old’s body, my idea of fun is drinking Blue Hawaii from the bladder like it’s going out of fashion. It did go out of fashion, and that’s a shame.
Speaking of wine cooler, if it was sunny, and I was pool side, I would murder a West Coast right now. And by a West Coast I mean a carton of…
I weighed myself today Diary, and I think the (very) early morning night trips to a variety of fast food establishments have taken their toll. There has been movement on the Weight Watchers state of the art digital scale – in an undesirable direction. It’s time to try something new: intermittent fasting… (read the rest of the diary here)
Worst Case Scenario
There are times when I have been labeled a pessimist. I don’t feel like I’m overly pessimistic, but there are times when I inadvertantly highlight the worst case scenario. After a lot of soul searching, I realised that there is someone I can blame for this: my mum.
At the time we didn’t really notice, but growing up mum always thought of the worst case scenario. Of course we got all the usual threats: if you get out of bed the boogey man will get you (quite obviously different to the boogie man); if you don’t brush your teeth they’ll fall out; if you watch too much TV you’ll get square eyes; if you go outside with wet hair you’ll catch a chill; if the wind changes when you’re pulling a face, your face will stay that way; if you don’t do your homework you’ll get held back a year. Lucky for us, we were born to a mum that liked to step it up a notch…(read about the worst cases here)
Diary of Dry July (Part Two)
Yesterday afternoon was the first afternoon in recent history that we decided to have wine in the office. I hid in the bathroom so that my pained expression wouldn’t be apparent to all and sundry. Speaking of pained expressions, I must book in for more Botox. My “open book face” is getting me into trouble in the office again: “do you not agree Renee? You look a bit peeved”…(read about the second half of Dry July here)
It's Time for Tinder
Nearly every single person I know has taken the step into Tinder-land. If you’re not familiar with Tinder, there’s a wee article on it here, but basically it’s online speed dating based on pics found on your Facebook profile.
I refused to buy into this free app, purely because I didn’t want to be the girl who was judging guys on their looks… (read all about my experience with Tinder here)
Fun Facts About Hazel
I didn’t mean to create Hazel, she just kinda happened. And I like her. She’s nice, she’s patient. She likes positive affirmations and motivational sayings, and she doesn’t swear as much as me. She’s very helpful, and she’s way better at customer service than I could ever be. I built Hazel’s House because I was sick of seeing Australian brands in NZ for three times the price that Australian’s pay. It’s taken almost a year to convince some brands to supply Hazel’s House, and now I think we’re onto a pretty good thing… (read some fun facts about Hazel here)
Keep Calm It's Just Mercury in Retrograde
I’ve had a pretty average month to be honest, and so has Hazel. I’m not talking average as in my cat got run over, my house burned down, and I was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I’m talking average as in, every little annoying thing that can go wrong, has gone wrong. I thought it was just me battling away as usual, but then I heard on the radio something about Mercury being in Retrograde, so I Googled it up, and suddenly it all made sense…(read about Mercury in Retrograde here)
A Monday in the Life of Hazel
I’m sure many of you are intrigued about the glamorous life of an online clothing store owner. I spend three days a week in a real office, with real people, working a real job, and I spend four days a week as my alter ego Hazel. Here’s a taste of a typical Hazel day…(read about a Monday in the Life of Hazel here)
Your Presence is Gift Enough
But is it though? Really?
Some of the weddings that I have been invited to recently, have had a wee card enclosed, insisting that it is not necessary to bring a gift, bbuuuuut if you did want to get us one, we’ll have a wishing well, aaaaand here’s our bank details in case the thought of leaving cash in a card in a bird cage, on a table makes you anxious…(Read the full post here)